Have any of you ever given any consideration to what you'd like to come back as in your next life if you were to ever be provided with just an opportunity? I've often pondered about what it is that, if I were ever to be given such an opportunity, I would like to come back as. After some deep deliberation, I think that I have finally come up with an answer. What I would like to come back as is...a Negro. I mean think about it, what other group here in America is on the receiving end of more preferential treatment than this one group of individuals. But having said that, it would also be most important that I also come back as a male, since it is they are the members of this group who seem to have the most fun while facing the least number of consequences regarding their behavior. It is they who do not much more than to go about the spreading their seed, so to speak, and apparently have little or no trouble locating any number of willing receptacles for said seed. Also they don't seem to be forced into the accepting of any level of responsibility for their irresponsible actions. Plus, there does not seem to be any realistic expectations placed on anyone in this group, and there exists a list of ready made excuses to be used to explain why it might be that they are unable to achieve any level of success in their lives. The main reason, of course, being that America is filled to overflowing with a bunch of racists who want to keep all minorities down. These folks get to do pretty much nothing throughout their entire lives while being completely subsidized by those individuals who actually work and pay taxes. What a deal! Where do I sign up for this? And as always, they are ever vigilant for any opportunity that may present itself that can then be taken advantage of in allowing them to take to the street and to riot in the name of some nonsensical cause. So as a participant of such a social gathering, I could then go happily in search of a store to vandalize in order to get me a new pair of the latest sneakers or to "acquire" that new HD television that I've been wanting for so long.
Or let's say that I was interested in attending some institution of higher learning, there would really be nothing to stop me. I could be confident in the knowledge that by virtue of my race, I would possess everything needed to apply to the college of my choice. There would be no need to possess the grades that would be anywhere those required for acceptance by those would be students coming from other groups. Say, like those required by white students. Nor would I have to worry about having to pay any of that silly, and extremely costly, tuition, since the government will be eagerly standing at the ready with any number of taxpayer funded programs to cover the entire cost of my education. And of course, because of affirmative action and any number of various types of government mandated quotas, I'd be a shoe in for attending whatever college it was that I wished to. And then once I've enrolled and am attending classes, I really wouldn't need to worry all that much about maintaining any kind of grades, since the majority of college professors today are either very liberal, or outright socialists, in their political persuasion, and would always be more than willing to inflate my grades as necessary. Better that than having be made to feel inadequate because of my skin color. The end result of my not having to bother with studying to maintain even minimum grades, would be that I would then be left with much more time available to work on those truly important issues, like the spreading of my seed. College would be nothing more than a paid vacation, at the conclusion of which I would then be "given" a degree which I really hadn't worked for, but one that would facilitate my ability to create the impression that I had, when job seeking. So with a bogus degree in hand, I could then go in search of a place where I would like to seek employment. And during any potential interview process I would work to ascertain if those who were doing the interviewing were exhibiting the type of behavior that would provide to me some indication that they may be susceptible to any potential accusations of racism.
With any number of government enforced equal employment mandates having been put in place over the years and geared specifically toward the favoring of certain minorities, I would be confident in my expectations that I would be successful in locating a suitable place of employment. Upon locating an employer and a position for which to apply, it would matter very little if I were actually qualified for any position, but again because of affirmative action, and out of any potential employers fear of being called racist, I would most certainly be hired. And having once secured a position I could also be reasonably certain of never losing my job, and would most likely make much more than I was worth, again out of my employer’s fear of me accusing them of being nasty racists. I would also most certainly be confident in the fact that I would receive very positive performance evaluations, since to do otherwise would leave my immediate supervisors open to accusations of harboring some deep-seated racist tendencies in their desire to see me fail. I would effectively have it made and for no other reason that because of my skin color. And I also think that I could be certain in the knowledge that I would never be assigned any task that would allow any chance of failure, since that would also be leaving those for whom I worked open to accusations of racism in their tasking me with something where failure was apparently a certainty. So therefore, I would be receiving a salary that would most likely be excessive when compared to my employment responsibilities. So again, while college can be said to have been a paid vacation, my job would create little stress since there would be low expectations with much leeway provided in my job performance because of my being black.
And of course when it comes to the area of politics, the choosing of what candidate to vote for would most certainly become a no brainer. All I would need to do is to simply always make sure that I chose to vote for either the black candidate in the race, or for, worst case scenario, any white candidate who promised to keep the government checks coming. Or to vote for those who would be willing to guarantee that I would continue to be on the receiving end of all sorts of government subsidies based solely on my skin color. As well I’d want to make sure that I could buy a big house without putting any money down or having to provide the institution lending me the money with any proof whatsoever that I would ever be able to repay the loan. How can you beat a deal like that? And there’s another fringe benefit from my skin color. That would be the fact that if I were to ever be stopped for any traffic infraction, all that I would need to do would be to accuse some hapless cop of racial profiling. I would always have the option of saying that I was guilty of nothing more than DWB or "driving while black." Let's face it, short of committing an actual violent crime, and in some cases even then, I could always rely on the bleeding heart liberals to come riding to my rescue. As well, I could also rely on all of my "brothers" to take to the streets regarding any perceived injustice to justify, as previously stated, their sudden need to acquire that television or pair of sneakers. I mean I just don't see a downside to any of this. So, hence my rationale for wishing to come back in my next life as a Negro.
No comments:
Post a Comment